Update from Lincoln's GI Appointment

Boy howdy, I can't even begin to type how nervous I was about that appointment! It took me a while to fill out all the paperwork and for the medical asst to call us back. The first thing she did was weight Link and.... drum roll please..... he had gained 12 ounces since last week. 12 ounces!!!! He hadn't gained that much in the previous month. I immediately felt relieved with that news. I knew he had gained at least 8 oz but not 12. We waited a really long time to see the doctor (who was very apologetic about making us wait). Lincoln tore up the paper on the exam table and Coralee read books about space. Gotta love the reading material in a pediatric specialists' exam room. It was all pretty good.

We looked at his growth chart together and realized that the nurse had plotted his not so substantial 14 lbs 5 oz on the 9 month line instead of the 8 month line. He still is just barely south of the 3% but not nearly as badly as it looked the week before. Still, it was such a reassurance to talk with the doctor so it was worth the stress from the week before. She said that breastfed babies generally gain more in the first 3 months than a formula fed baby and that they tend to slow down around 4 months. At that point, they've used up the fat stores from their time in-utero and can appear to have "issues". She said after that, they tend to "channelize" and move around on the charts to find their spot. She said she's referred a lot of babies in similar situations. She was happy with the blood test results and didn't see any need to do any more testing. We talked about his eating habits and she was happy with those. She wants to see him in 3 months to make sure he's still doing well and offered to send in the dietitian to talk with us about how to add more calories to his food.

The dietitian suggested adding a teaspoon of canola oil to his food once or twice a day. She recommended that since it doesn't have a taste to it. We can also give him a little butter (since he's had yogurt and done fine). Adding the fat to his diet will make up 15% of his caloric intake which should help with his weight gain. I've found it really interesting to read the brochure she gave us about what he can eat and when. Their pediatrician says table food is okay at 9 months and it seems like everything else I've read (hello, on Gerber's website) suggests otherwise. Finger foods at 7-8 months when the Gerber puffs we've been giving Lincoln say he should be able to crawl with his belly up before he has them. We're not quite there developmentally. We're such rebels!

So, all in all, let me share what I've learned. You get a medal (well, maybe a teaspoon of canola oil would be more appropriate) if you made it this far. :-) The day before his weight check, I had made his appointment which always makes me cry. I was in the shower crying and praying. I told God I wanted to trust Him with all of this but I just couldn't. So, what a quick lesson in trusting Him for the ultimate good. There was the whole "sick" truck & new van to add to the failure to thrive diagnosis (and what a scary thing to look up on the internet). I cried most of the day on Friday until we went to dinner with the Mitchells. Being around friends always takes the focus off of the problem. I'm so glad we went! I was convinced that the sky was falling and that the doctor would tell me not to breastfeed (imagine, "Woman, you have no business feeding your babies like that with how tiny they are). I convinced myself that formula feeding might be our only solution which made me cry more. I did pray that God would help me make it through Target without crying when buying said formula. The bonus there was that I found the Target brand diapers that we've been using for $5.28 for a 96 pack (50% off). Talk about feel better throwing away all those poopy diapers (perhaps enhanced by the canola oil). I know it might seem silly but it was proof of God taking care of us. I'm not thrilled about the car payment deal - I had been dreaming of paying off debt and getting wood floors downstairs (or at least a trip to Disney World).

Fast forward to the next day. I had an appointment to get my hair cut which was yet another chance to get out of my funk. As I drove there, the skies were perfectly blue and I felt like God was telling me that things would get better. There was a peace in my heart that hadn't been there before. I literally got home and put Link on the scale and it said 1/2 lb heavier.

On Friday, a friend of mine had suggested that I find a scripture verse to cling to for this struggle. The context isn't perfect since it is talking about Paul & Apollos but it couldn't be more true... "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." 1 Cor. 3:7. There are so many things that I've been able to accept as out of my control. Infertility did a big number on me in that way.... a good thing for sure. For some reason, this weight gain thing just seems like it should be controllable (of course, so did infertility). All I have to do is give him a bottle, right? Even that isn't a guarantee. Those 12 ounces he gained were such a huge answered prayer and an encouragement to me. It completely fell in line with what that verse had said - I may be the one that "waters" but God is the one that causes growth. I don't have to hold on to the burden and guilt because He's in charge.