This weekend we got 2 offers on our house. We went with the first one since they were first….. it only seemed fair to us. Sunday we counter offered and they accepted. It all worked well for us – asking price, closing date June 29 (we’ll close on the other house June 30 – just in time for the tax credit deadline) and they want our fridge. Umm, well, you can have that for sure. We’ve worn off the water & ice buttons and it’s showing other areas of wear. Bummer, I have to get a new fridge.
To say that I don’t wait well would be an understatement. I hate waiting. I’ve noticed that when things don’t go my way, I tend to throw a fit just like I would have when I was 2. Life doesn’t fit my expectations and I throw myself on the floor, flail my arms and scream and cry. Thankfully I’ve learned a little self control as an adult but emotionally it’s what happens. We had to wait to get pregnant which was really hard for me. That was my biggest goal in life - to be a Mom. Yet God withheld that for 4 years. Over the past almost 2 months, I’ve told myself that this whole house buying/selling thing is small potatoes compared to that. I know that when I have my freak out toddler fits, that it’s okay to go to God with those raw emotions. It’s not like he’s surprised by them. He’s ultimately the only one that can calm me.
I love, love, love watching HGTV. Even before we got the grand idea to move, I loved to watch House Hunters, Designed to Sell, etc. I think it’s because I’m nosey or maybe it’s because we moved around so much during my childhood. I just enjoy seeing other people’s houses. I’ve watched those shows and thought, “Wow, why’d they think they could sell their house looking like that?” The shows make it appear that a little paint, elbow grease and some cash will make any home sell. In part, that’s true but I really think that it’s just another example of if you do xyz, you’ll be successful. The very idea puts you in charge and completely ignores God’s role and His plan. One verse that has seemed to come up over and over in this process has been Acts 17:26, “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” I loved that verse when we were going through infertility because it reminded me that our wait wasn’t just about us. It was also about our children and what God had planned for them. Imagine that, it’s not just about me.
We had a realtors' tour come through the house a couple of weeks ago to give feedback. They suggested a lower price to get more search hits and 4 of the 10 suggested that we paint the half bath a more neutral color. In spite of the fact that they all rated the house as good or excellent, the comments made me feel even more insecure. I started thinking about all the things we could do to update the house. As I was painting the bathroom, I realized how meaningless all of this was (Ecclesiastes 1). There was no way I could do enough. The only thing that would work is to have the right person come to the house.
The thing that always hits me when we're in the middle of something difficult is how I don't know how or when it will end. I feel like I lack faith because I literally freak out. In my head, I think, I KNOW that this will end but I just hate it when things don't go according to my time frame. I'd like to say that I'll be a more patient person because of this experience but all it shows me is that I'll continue to struggle with it and God will continue to show me how faithful He is.
Okay, now that I've written a book, I can start packing boxes.... we aren't going to be using that china for a while. :-)
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